Květen 2014

letting go

5. května 2014 v 21:33 Eufórie, agónie a iné slová, ktorým nerozumiem
They forgot me. Well, no they did not. They just don't care. That's the reason why it used to hurt me. But not anymore. Now it's me who stopped caring. I still love them, I still wish them all the best, I'd still help them if they call me in the mid of the night, but that's where it stops.
I was always first to ask, to make progress...
You know, I came to a moment when I realised I don' need people who don't need ME. I can't force them to try to keep in touch with me. I'm not angry, I'm not sad. This is the moment when I understood. They are not meant to be in my life anymore. They gave me a lesson and that's it. I need to move on and let go.
I don't need to ask them 'how's your life going' anymore. I just don't need to know it.
I'm scared of the moment when I see those people. I know they'd want to know my whole story since I'm here. But frankly, I'm not quite sure if I be able to talk about it.
Where were you during the whole year, when I was fucked up. When I was crying alone without a single friend. Where were the 'I'll be there for you!" "You can write anytime!"
So probably I won't be enthusiastic to talk about my life when I see you and I will not apologize for that.
I forgave you, I understood and that's the end. Just don't ask how's the school, how's the country once you've turned away.
We can smile at each other, we can say hi, but that's all I wish. I don't need to see you anymore. Thanks for memories. Now it's time to create new ones.